Cockroach Protein Bars are the perfect food for the modern, empowered feminist on-the-go. With bugs becoming one of the biggest fads, due to books like the Eat-a-Bug Cookbook and the new cricket protein powders and energy bars coming onto the market, why not capitalize on the bugs that already live in your house?
Health Benefits of Eating Cockroaches:
- While the bugs can carry bacteria, viruses, and other muck on their legs, because of a hyper-developed immune system, they cannot contract any diseases. Therefore, eating cockroaches harnesses their power as a natural antibiotic.
- Cockroaches are made up of 65% protein, 28% fat, 3% fiber, and less than 1% carbohydrates. The bugs contain vitamin A and vitamin E. Eating cockroaches is paleo-friendly.
- The way that a cockroach's digestive system works helps to release nitrogen into the soil, which stops the global crisis of climate change. Therefore, to encourage cockroach growth is a vote for the planet, which ultimately affects every human's individual health.
- If we are to teach humans to "hunt" cockroaches in their homes as a source of protein, we could also eliminate some of the need for factory farming, which is another primary source for climate change.
Click on the video below to be led through the Cockroach Protein Bar Recipe. The video comes as documentation to a performance at the Gender, Bodies, Technologies Conference in April 2016 (Roanoke, Virginia). Sometimes the audio and the visuals do not sync up perfectly. Sorry.
NO-BAKE COCKROACH GRANOLA BARS
NO-BAKE COCKROACH GRANOLA BARS
- 1 3/4 cup of quick-cooking oats
- 1 1/3 cup of sliced almonds
- 2/3 cup crushed cockroaches
- To create from scratch: lay dead cockroaches on a cutting board and with a large chef's knife, cut into strips going one way (and then the other way to make little cockroach squares). Then take the mixture and crush it all together to make sure the various body parts smash together a little bit.
- 1 teaspoon cockroach protein powder
- To create from scratch: place dead cockroaches in a mortar and pestle and grind until in a fine powder.
- 1/2 to 3/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup creamy peanut butter
- 1/2 cup honey (make it local if you have seasonal allergies)
- 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
- Parchment Paper
- 8 or 9 inch square glass baker (or really any kind of vessel with similar proportions)
- Large mixing bowl
- Large wooden spoon
- Drinking glass
- Large liquid measuring cup (glass preferred, and at least 2 cups)
- Take one 12 inch strip of parchment paper and line the bottom of the glass baker.
- In a large mixing bowl, combine the oats, almonds, crushed cockroaches, cockroach powder, and salt. Whisk together.
- In a large liquid measuring cup, measure out peanut butter. Top with honey and vanilla extract. Whisk together.
- Pour the liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients. Use a large wooden spoon to mix them together until the two are well combined. If the mixture is too wet, add a few more oats. This step is also part of a workout as the arm will be kneading together the dry and wet ingredients vigorously. And while you are at it, add 10 squats right here and right now. Cockroaches are for holistic health.
- Transfer the wet and dry mixture on top of the parchment paper-lined glass baker. Place another 12 inch strip of parchment paper on top, and use a drinking glass to flatten out the mixture as evenly as possible.
- Place the glass baker into the refrigerator for an hour.
- And voila! Cockroach granola bars. Great for kids' lunch boxes and an afternoon pick me up with coffee. For an extra boost add mini chocolate chips or cacao nibs. Experiment with dried fruit as well. And share any good additions or experiments with Feminist Pest Control Agent, Lindsay Garcia by email.